New Orleans – Part Three – Bourbon Street and the French Quarter

Part Three of our “New Orleans Experience” takes us to the infamous Bourbon Street and the enchanting French Quarter.  This series of posts is told from both of our perspectives with Rob’s thoughts in italics.

Ahhhhhh Bourbon Street – one of the primary associations that come to mind when you hear the name “New Orleans.”  Picture it – loud music blaring out of almost every establishment, flashing neon lights advertising the closest titty bar, drunk people stumbling around unaware of their surroundings and being enveloped by the wafting stench of stale sweat, urine and vomit comingling in all of their glory.  Hmmmmmmm…..could you quite possibly deduct that Bourbon Street was my least favorite place in all of New Orleans???

Rob and I are just old at heart I guess.  I mean, don’t get me wrong – I totally see the appeal for a lot of people.  Bourbon Street is a place where you can go to completely let go of all of your inhibitions.  It’s like a perpetual Spring Break frat party that anyone can attend.  I personally was not the biggest fan of frat parties when I was in college to begin with, so the appeal was very limited for me.  I think the magic was also lost on us because we first experienced this iconic NOLA location in full daylight and not under the blanket of darkness needed to hide its cosmetic flaws.  Kind of like seeing an aging prostitute without her makeup…  But I digress.  We did the obligatory walk down Bourbon Street and made the required stop at Pat O’Brian’s for one of their “world famous” hurricanes.  After lamenting the waste of $10 on the overtly sweet, cheap rum drink, we had had enough of the tawdry atmosphere and plastic beads and started exploring the surrounding streets.  It’s absolutely mind-boggling how the scene changed just one street over.

Side Note:  I realize that I sound like a complete stick in the mud with my references to Bourbon Street, so I want to be clear that I am not against all-day partying.  Quite the opposite in fact.  I mean, who doesn’t love the idea of exploring and having a great time with a beer/cocktail in hand right out in public at any time of day?!  I just typically prefer a place that is a little more respectful of women and doesn’t smell like a gas station urinal.  Hence the reason why I absolutely loved the French Quarter as a whole, with the sole exception of its iconic party-center, Bourbon Street.

OOOOooooooh that smell…. Can you smell that smell?

Lynard Skynard was on to something there.  That song is what I think of when I think about Bourbon Street.  The funk was so thick that you could spread it on a cracker.  There’s an image.  

Ironic side note about the song “That Smell.”  The song was written “as a warning about the consequences of careless overuse of drugs and alcohol,” according to Wikipedia.

So yeah, Bourbon Street is exactly what you think it is.  It’s a dirty street that is full of bars and strip clubs… and families.  That was what surprised me the most.  There were families and older people everywhere.  Some of them clearly did not get the memo.  But if you find yourself on Bourbon Street and in need of reprieve, just go a few blocks over and you’re free of the odor.

Pardon me as I continue to sound old and boring, but I need to vent about the $10 I spent on a Hurricane at Patty O’Brien’s.  I would have received more enjoyment by simply lighting a $10 bill on fire right in the middle of Bourbon Street. What a waste of time.  There should be a questionnaire each customer is required to fill out before placing his or her order.  

• Do you appreciate the taste of alcohol?  ____ Yes, ____ No 
  • If Yes, put your cash away and leave now.
  • If No, answer next question.
• Are you just trying to get drunk?
  • If Yes, put your cash on the bar and get ready.
  • If No, put your cash away and leave now.

I know I would have appreciated that.  

One place you absolutely have to see to believe is the Carousel Bar in the Hotel Monteleone.  The centerpiece bar is built to look exactly like an antique carousel and it actually rotates!!  A historic haunt of many literary greats like Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, Tennessee Williams, and Truman Capote, it was a little surreal to think that we could have been sitting in the exact seat previously occupied by some of my favorite authors.

If Papa hung out here, I’m getting a Hemingway Cocktail.  When I go on vacation, I turn into a great customer.  All kidding aside, the Hemingway Daiquiri is a damn fine cocktail.  The drink consists of white rum (aged rum works too), grapefruit juice, lime juice, maraschino liqueur and simple syrup.  I see a cocktail recipe write up in my future.

After the Carousel Bar we wandered on down toward Jackson Square and discovered a lovely sanctuary surrounded with artists plying their wares.  We grabbed a cocktail from a nearby bar and sat in the Square on a bench surrounded by trees and took in the gorgeous surroundings.  Right on the corner of Jackson Square, we found the New Orleans institution Café du Monde and absolutely had to stop for their cloud-like puffs of pastry happiness coated in powdered sugar (beignets) accompanied by a café au lait.  Heaven, pure Heaven.  This place churns out thousands of beignets a day, and the service is less than friendly, but it is absolutely worth braving the crowds to sample these divine treats!

Picture it… it’s 96 degrees out, you’ve been walking around all day and your wife turns to you and says, “I want to go get coffee!”  What am I supposed to do with that?  It turned into a “yes dear” moment.  She kept saying “we HAVE to go to Café du Monde” and as much as it pains me to say it, she was right.  The beignets tasted like deep fried happiness.  Sure there was powered sugar everywhere, but who can care when it tastes so good?  The café au lait was great even on a hot day.  Down in NOLA they put chicory in their coffee and I personally don’t like the flavor.  The cream in the café au lait really balanced out the flavor.

The area around Jackson Park reminded me a bit of Berkeley with all the artists and performers trying to make a buck.  There were also a ton of shops offering a ton of different things.  Anyone need an antique absinthe spoon?

Dana and I like to get a Christmas ornament from each place we travel to.  We picked up our NOLA ornament at a tourist trap of a shop called Jazz Funeral.  They literally had the same trinkets that the other shops had, but their sign sucked us in.

There are so many lovely shops begging to be explored once you step off of Bourbon Street and into the charming world that is the remainder of the French Quarter.  Royal Street is an antique collector’s fantasy.  You can find everything from suits of armor, to silverware and fine china, to autographed sports and Hollywood memorabilia.  Other side streets hold boutiques with fine Italian suits and one-of-a kind dress creations.  There are also a couple of voodoo shops for those interested in the darker mysteries.

I think my favorite aspect of the French Quarter had to be the spectacular architecture and wrought iron work.  The intricate detail of the balconies with the hanging ferns spilling over the side were so charming that I forgot all about the year-round Spring Break party happening a few streets over.